Sorry.

I am sorry I'm not a slut.
I'm sorry I don't open the door between my legs for anyone who knocks.
I'm sorry I couldn't ever be more like her,
I'm sorry I couldn't fuck on command when you asked me to.
I'm sorry for "over reacting"
And "forcing" you to do things to hurt me.
But most of all I'm sorry I can't be there....
To castrate you and BEAT HER ASS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry that was a bit violent lol)

What do you do when love leaves?

All this time
All this trying and hoping,
All the lies you told doesn't come close to the pain and anger you've caused me.
I wonder why
Why did you ever try?
Whats the point of building walls just to break them down?
And to heal hearts just to stop on them again without even providing so much as a band-aid.
As much as I don't want to, as much as I shouldn't, I still love you.
And even now I still cry over you, every day,
While you're out living your life and forgetting about me.
Don't act like you're sorry, don't act like you care.
I can see through your faulse "good guy" act now.
If you cared you would've never did anything like this,
messing with girls emotions isn't nice...
I act like I'm okay
But I'm only seconds away from grabbing a knife...

i will stop cutting when you stop cheating.

i watch it flow
the blood dripping from my arms
sometimes i wish
i would cut a little too deep,
so the blood could match the tears dripping from my eyes
and its all your fault
you cheat, you lie
you arent the guy i thought.
i'll stop when you stop.

Lonliness And Lies.

Back to that time
When everything disapeared
The sun the moon the sky even the
fear
Back into a cave
A cave of trance, clouded dreams and false judgements
Basing things on a simplistic primus that doesn't even exist
Longing to belong
And thinking you do.
Giving it all and still receiving nothing.
There is something...
One thing I do know...
There is no such thing as "Love"
And there never was so...

I hear you.

I am tired
of all the lies
I am tired of hearing whispering sounds
stop and stare?
not expecting me to be around?
to hear you
say something,
something 'not so nice'
then act like your joking?
and give me your idiotic advice?
dont tell me that it was nothing,
nothing as you choke...
or it was a joke?
meer giggling between friends can lead to someone swallowing more pills...
then she should...
it never failed...
she wanted to be in hollywood..
now shes 'hollywood dead'
she will fade..
your mind one day...
like a bullet shot through her head...

JAC.

mood swings
from wet dreams
loving you,
and feeling the need to hide it
because, it may all be gone one day
and i may be alone
to love you is a cure for my loneliness, my wild ways.
a curse for those who wanted you,
and those who wanted me too.
and a diesease,
a plague, a pestilence for which there is no known cure
for you baby you've done what no boy has ever done before
youve repaired this shattered heart
put bandaids on wounds that for years have been ripped appart.
piece by piece 'if it takes a thousand years'
you'd say
you wont allow me,
no you can't allow me
to rot and fade away
so i will wait
i'll wait for the day
when we can be together again
holding your hand
then ill say
i love you forever...
you are my leading man..

Stop!!!

A not so 'oh so poetic' kind of life.
hiding.
going through everything imaginable,
and facing it alone.
not knowing when to speak up or to shut up
to back down or to let down
screaming on the inside smiling on the out
smearing tear stained eyeliner
face smile cut across her mouth